An Anniversary Absent Celebration

January is a month of new beginnings, good-byes, remembrances and anticipation.  We lost my Father in January a few years ago; it is the birth month of a dear friend who became another breast cancer statistic; my sweet yellow lab is 13 years old this month and thus my days as his companion are numbered; and it is the anniversary date of my unemployment.

January could be a really depressing month; instead I have been thinking about what has been very positive about this past year of unemployment.

• Time with my family:  Since returning to work when my children were young, I made career choices that limited my travel and hours, but always felt my time was divided to their disadvantage.  This year, we have had more time than ever before to spend together.  I have also been able to visit my siblings and my Mom, accompanied by my laptop and portable job-hunting office.
• Friends:  There is nothing like a crisis to realize who your true friends are and how important they are to your sanity.  Two other dear friends are likewise unemployed; we share ideas, give honest criticism of resumes and cover letters and hold one another up when we’re teetering.  Sometimes we just let loose and have a good old time on the pity pot.
• God time:  We have had our ups and downs this year.  I have been plenty mad about my situation and held it against our creator on occasion.  One thing about God, he is forgiving and never gives up on you.  He shows me the way; I listen and move two steps forward and then turn a deaf ear and move a step backward.  Just please don’t pray for my strength.  We’re working on that and it has been plenty tested.  Instead please pray for my grace and improved communications skills.   
• Dog days:  Dallas the dog has had a really great year.  As he has aged, he has become more attached to me and we have spent many hours rogether..  He waits patiently while I finish one more cover letter before going for the W-A-L-K. He dashes out the back door as if he were a young pup and not really 91 years old in dog years.  He licks my hand when I cry and his undying love and admiration have often gotten me through the worst of days.
• Blogging:  In August, I started this blog as a place to talk about the unemployment ups and downs and do something with a few of the more than 5,000 photographs I take annually to record the beauty I see.  It has given me an outlet, strengthened my writing skills, sometimes given the days their purpose and upped my confidence.  I am grateful to US Airways Magazine for including me among their blog contributors!
• Family History: I joined the Daughters of the American Revolution this year.   Through DAR I have developed a greater appreciation for geneaology.  My sons and I are also working hard to scan and read all of the 700+ letters my father wrote during WWII and in his years of college and summer camp.  It is a fascinating history; I am compiling ideas for a book.  The letters do not replace having my Father in person but they do give me a chance to know him better.
• Networking:  It has been so interesting to expand my network of contacts.    Giving back is critical.  Following through with promises means the world to someone who is unemployed, and you will forever have their admiration.  I am grateful to somany people, and the list keeps growing as I continue this process.
• Timing:  Learning I am not in control has been a big lesson.  This growth process has included disappointment, endless waiting, studying and patience.  I dare not say I have learned this lesson lest it prolong the testing.  Let’s just say that I have relinquished control and am eager for the next assignment!
• Fun for free:  The Washington area is filled with free opportunities for fun and learning. I have rediscovered the C&O Canal, visited all of the Smithsonians, attended special exhibits and spent a lot of time walking and enjoying the beauty we have right here at home. As a result of many of these excursions, I write  for The Examiner and enjoy the chance to share my discoveries with others.
• Time to travel:  I have been very fortunate to do some budget-conscious traveling this year.   Each trip included special moments with friends and family and made some contribution toward my job search.
• Career decisions:  Being a generalist (“jack of all trades, master of none”), I have had a difficult time focusing on just one thing I would like to do next.  This time has given me the opportunity to study different career paths and eliminate some things I no longer want to focus on.  It has also made me realize how much I love working and miss the camaraderie and the everyday mental stimulation that comes from seeking answers, associating with interesting people and working toward a goal. 
• Finances:  Having no income humbles you in a hurry but also provides an opportunity downsize and recognize ways to curb expenses.  I have cut back in many areas and I am unlikely to be as wasteful ever again. 
• 
• Blessings:  I keep a list of blessings, writing down a few things each day.  Some days I have scraped the bottom of the barrel but have always come up with something.  Other days I have tired of writing before completing the list. Yesterday's entry:  "Sandhill cranes are amazing; I was so close to a pair who began calling for the others --- what a beautiful racket they made."
• Staying positive:   I have found that I need to keep my spirits up by keeping time with up spirits.  Likewise, I need to keep focused on being a positive spirit for others. 
• Time for talents:  I have had time to focus on hobbies and talents that I had nearly forgotten about.   I love photography and I have a good eye for composition.  My Canon Digital Rebel XTI and a couple of good lenses help make up for lack of experience.  I have spent more time cooking and learning to prepare new and different foods.  I have enjoyed my cooking a little too much this year and it shows.
• Nature: I have spent more time enjoy the out of doors this year than in the last five.  I have taken trips where the focus has been on nature, and have had time to open my eyes and enjoy the beauty in my own garden.  I have become an avid bird watcher.  For Christmas I received a 17-year old juniper bonsai.  I accepted the adoption and the lifelong responsibility and named her Jennifer Juniper.  I think the bonsai is symbolic of my newfound patience and my willingness to wait for something special.  

By next January, there will be better things to celebrate.  Meanwhile, I deal with the disappointments and  occasional good news, network like crazy, attend courses and keep learning, maintain an open mind about what I am willing to do next, and patiently await that which has been a long time in coming and will be oh so worth it.