Forsythia, this week's F-Word

When my eldest was in the first or second grade, new to riding the school bus and absorbing vocabulary words like a sponge, he arrived home proclaiming he had just learned the "F-word".  "It's really bad," he said, "and I can't tell it to you."  He looked very sheepish but I could tell he was anxious to try out his new word.  I, on the other hand had to stifle a giggle and maintain my serious Mom-is-in-charge demeanor.  "I think you should just go ahead and tell me," I prodded.  "There are a lot of words that start with F."  Puzzled, he replied "but this is THE F-word.  The bad one."

After some encouragement, and a promise from me that he wouldn't get in trouble for saying it, he closed his eyes, grimaced and quickly said "Fart!"  "Phew," was my first thought.  Then it was very hard not to laugh. A teachable moment, complete with unrealistic high hopes that there would be no other "bad one",  it was important to make him understand that this F-word, however mild in my eyes, wasn't appropriate to repeat in public.  Mentally I acknowledged the marker; another step toward being big.  As the years passed, there were more words and consequences.

More to the point...

...I am enamored and enthralled by the F-word in my home this week, the forsythia branches I cut from the bushes in the corner of the garden.  I filled two vases with twigs late last week.  In only 7 days, the tiny, almost invisible, bud drops turned into voluptuous vessels, ready to deliver their beautiful bundles of joy.

And then slowly they began to burst open in response to the sun pouring in the windows over the unseasonably warm weekend.  For several days it stayed warm enough indoors, day and night, that heat was not required - and my stunning, womb-laden sprays of forsythia were well incubated.

In the dreary end of winter, sunny days combined with warmer temperatures and spring flowers provide the most amazing lift.  My yellow and pink-walled dining room exudes a sort of opulence when decorated with the golden blossoms.  I find myself making excuses to pass by the flowers and admire them, noting the rapid bursting into bloom.

They don't last long, but they give such a show indoors, long before the bushes outside begin to work their magic.  It's a wonderful time time of year.  We're still waiting for spring, and it snowed last night, but the  F-word has instilled hope, and sent the pent-up spirits soaring.

Extended Gift: Amaryllis

A dear friend, knowing I was likely to have some dreary winter days ahead, had the foresight, good taste and generosity to give me a gift certificate for bulbs for my birthday last summer.  Sometime in the fall, when the days were getting shorter and the leaves were falling like raindrops, I ordered 4 enormous amaryllis bulbs from a magical place called White Flower Farm.  

I spent days perusing the catalog filled with photos of spring blooming bulbs and my beloved giant amaryllis.  It was hard to choose, and had I been fully employed and with cash to spare, I would have ordered a plethora of spring bulbs for my garden;  but I chose wisely and within the confines of my wonderful gift.   Because I was saving them for January and February blooming, by which time I knew I would be tired of Christmas red, I chose springy pale pinks such as the Apple Blossom and the most dramatic --- Aphrodite.  

The bulbs arrived quickly and in good order.  Each was in a paper bag bulging with pent-up energy.  I saved them, planting them in pots a few weeks apart so that I would be able to extend their splendor.  Sure enough that has happened.  

I have been enjoying amaryllis beauty for several weeks.  In addition to the birthday bulbs, I purchased a few locally when they went on sale after Christmas.  They have not been as prolific.  One-stalkers, they were red and looking very out of season.  

The third stalk of Aphrodite

The Aphrodite bulb is true to her name - she is sensual, beautiful and sexy.  The pinkish flowers are outlined in a veiny dark pink and it has magnificent presence.  Five blooms are in the process of unfolding from each of two stalks.  And there is a third stalk miraculously beginning to appear at the base of the bulb.  I have never seen a bulb with three blooming stalks.  This is going to be one drawn-out gift!

If you have read my blogs before, you know that there are lessons here.  I'll keep it short.  After a while, the lessons are just repeats.  After all, we never learn everything the first time, and we do have our transgressions.  

Lessons from the Amaryllis

• Size matters.   My gigantic birthday bulbs out-produced the Christmas ones 2:1.
• It's worth the wait.  It takes weeks and weeks from plantinguntil the flowers slowly unfold. 
• Drinking too much is never a good idea.  If you over-water your bulbs, they will rot and die.
• Morning light transforms.   Light shining through the leaves is just the most exquisite thing to see.
• Top-heavy usually means an upheaval is about to occur.  The heaviest one ended up on its side with soil scattered everywhere.
• Beauty brightens the darkest days.  The amaryllis have been such a cheerful focus on some dreadfully cold and damp days.
• God sometimes hides beauty behind an ugly outside to teach us a lesson.  From ugly old bulbs come the most amazing flowers.
• Gift giving is very personal and can have lasting rewards.  Try giving a gift of bulbs to someone special. It really is a great way to stretch a celebration.
• Nature provides endless learning opportunities.  I am still learning how to get the bulbs to produce again in subsequent years.  I'm hopeful my birthday bulbs will not disappoint and be back to brighten my winter days next year.  

______________________

About White Flower Farm.  Really this isn't a commercial. I am just a happy customer and this is part of the story.   The farm was purchased in the 1930's by two writers who bought "a little place in the country" in Litchfield, Connecticut.   Their hobby grews over the years and in the 1970's the farm was purchased by Eliot Wadsworth,  who owns it today.  They have a huge selection of plants and bulbs.  One thing I like about their amaryllis is that they guarantee each will produce two flower stems.  That's quite a gift.  If you are fortunate enough to live in a more tropical climate you can grow your own amaryllis outdoors.  They sell bulbs for outdoor use and claim they might naturalize under the right conditions.  

Pinball Wizards

This blog represents a departure from my usual nature photographs and accompanying wisdom and banter.  I was so struck by the accomplishments of my grown sons in their recent pinball machine restoration that I had to write about it and a few of the lessons.  After all, life is all about the lessons.

“BbbbBbing  kkkkcccchhiing bing-a-bing-a-bbbbbbbbing bing bing BING bing click click click”  Those are some of the sounds that now emanate from my basement, often late in the evening.  My two grown sons have restored a pinball machine from the 1970’s.

Purchased from an elderly man whose hobby was restoring the machines and who  didn’t around to this one, the PINBALL WIZARD game arrived at our home before Christmas.  It was in such bad shape that it had a rat’s nest inside.  Nobody will tell me if the nest was removed before the machine entered the house; sometimes it is better not to know. 

The wires and connections were corroded, the screws were rusty, the paint was dull and worn, light bulbs were burned out, none of the electrical parts worked, the rubber flippers were partially disintegrated, the glass was covered in filth, and it was unsteady on its legs.

Through the holidays, when they both had extra time off and could focus on the restoration, they persevered in cleaning and restoring.  They spent hours and hours ensuring every single connection was clean, removing all the pieces to thoroughly de-grime and highly polish the painted wood playing surface.  The internet was a great resource for instructions and support as well as replacement parts for the flippers, the tiny light bulbs, the score numbers, the bumpers and more. 

In order to clean the crud and rust off of the old screws, preserving them instead of buying new ones, they bought a tumbler.  It is filled with a non-abrasive material - walnut hulls - and by tumbling swiftly (like a blade-less blender) for days on end, the hulls slowly polished the screws and a few other connectors.  The rusty screws came out with their heads polished and - more importantly - their threads clean.

Each weekend when they were together (one lives out of town), sons 1 and 2 would huddle in the basement, working on small wires and connections, occasionally shouting “sweet”, “Mom, we got the flipper to work”,   “Look at that!"  "IT WORKS!"  It was delightful listening to their happy shouts and exclamations.  Better yet, I was invited to play a few games - later I realized that was only because I provided entertainment and material for considerable ribbing. 

Now it is a finished, working product and they are poised to sell it - through their antiques shop, Vintage Brothers.   Here are a few lessons I learned in the process.

Pinball Wizarding Lessons

• Working on a project together is a great way to spend time with your sibling.
• Elder siblings are always bossy, whether they know more than the younger or not.
• A pinball machine attracts friends and is great entertainment.
• Once you have a map, understanding the wiring is greatly simplified.
• When you have a project to focus on, there is no down time.
• An overwhelming project, when broken down into manageable steps, is fun and quite doable.
• A free ball is a glorious gift.
• Perseverance pays off.
• You can make a lot of noise yet not get a lot of points when playing pinball.
• Practice definitely helps improve your score.
• The whole game can be determined by how well you place the ball with your first shot.
• Sometimes the ball is just going to go right between the flippers and you can't do anything about it.
• Occasionally, even an aging parent can luck out and win a few more points than a more agile 20-something son.
• The most unlikely discards can be re-purposed to help solve a problem:  tiny screws get very clean after whirring in a pot of walnut hulls for 3 days. 
• When you own the machine you don't have to pay, saving a lot of quarters.
• When you are doing something you enjoy, the time goes by quickly (and you forget you are making a lot of noise in the basement underneath your Mom's bedroom in the middle of the night).
• A Mom who is supportive and proud of her industrious sons can be very tolerant and might even miss them and the pinball machine when they move out.

See the Vintage Brothers Facebook page for more information about the Bally Wizard.  

Celebration of Life

Bamboo orchid at the US National Arboretum

When my children were young, they sometimes made "little while friends".  They moved on - from the sandbox or away from preschool - and we might have known them just a little or very well, but for just a short time.

"Sham", my shamrock plant, in the morning sun

Susan is my grown-up little while friend.  I had known her for less than a year - a very long time in the life of a child but quite a short time in middle age.  

She was in my book club and because of classes or other commitments, she did not always attend.  I don't think I remember being at book club when she had read the book.  That's not meant to make her sound unreliable.  We are all pretty relaxed about the books we read and each meeting there are at least a couple of us who haven't read the book and sometimes they have the best perspective.  

Bonsai at the US National Arboretum

Susan was like that.  She added perspective and increased the "funness" of the meetings.  She loved the wine and the sisterhood and always had an interesting story or gave us another reason to laugh.

US National Arboretum

She and I had some things in common - writing, love of travel, and searching for employment among them - and I thought about calling her to meet for lunch or drinks to share stories.  But I got busy and waited too long.  Susan died very suddenly of a brain hemorrhage in December.  That bright, charming, lovely light she shared with us was so quickly extinguished in our world.

Capitol columns at the US National Arboretum

Yesterday I was privileged to attend her memorial service.  I was so moved by the outpouring of love and remembrances from her friends and family, including the nieces and a nephew she loved so dearly and had spoken of often at book club.

US National Arboretum

Here are a few lessons I learned from Susan, her family and friends, and from myself as a result of my inaction in reaching out to connect with her.

Lessons from Susan

Share your loving thoughts with those who mean so much to you. 

Several friends and family shared things she had written to them that meant so much.

Don't put it off.  You might miss your chance.

I wish now that I had taken time to know Susan better.  

Good people are good to animals.

Susan loved her cats and also loved dogs.  Fittingly, her family asked that memorial contributions be made to the Washington Animal Rescue League.

Live life to the fullest.

Susan was joyful and full of enthusiasm.  She traveled and experienced many things; friends and family spoke of her always being at the ready for adventure.

Give others fun reasons to remember you.

Her relatives spoke fondly of her pet names for them and for her leadership in family gatherings.  Club members remember her enthusiasm for book club absent the books.

Do it.  You will learn something and you will have stories to tell.

She lived life and loved life.

Sisters share a bond that is like no other.

I was honored to share in her sister's witness of the strength of their relationship and reminded of how fortunate I am to have a sister.  

Consider deleting emails on a regular basis.

Her brother lovingly and humorously shared his experience as "the reader" of her email.  It made me think about what I might want left behind for someone to read (or not).

Make memories now so that you will live on in the lives of those who admire you.

Susan's many admirers will continue to be influenced by her and will be better for it. 

Laugh so people will remember you that way.

I can still hear her laughing and see her head tilted back, wine glass in hand, eyes shining.  It's a good way to remember a little while friend.