When you are in a hurry

When I must use a public restroom, it is not because I want to be entertained or, worse, detained by ambiguity.  I need to go.  I am a women in my 50's; very simple.

I am not complaining about lines to get into bathrooms; we women are used to waiting while the men sail in and out.  Actually lines solve ambiguity problems; where there is a line, it is obvious which door is mine.   What I am peeved about are the cute little distracting and sometimes slightly ambiguous signs indicating the gender of those the room is intended for.

Last week I was confronted with these signs at a restaurant on Kent Island in Maryland.  Encountering the non-male one first, I was confused. Chocolate was not what I was after and it was only after I saw the sign clearly intended for boys that I was certain where I should not go.  But what do Chocolate and Biscuits have to do with restrooms?  Please don't detain me.  I am already in a hurry.

This sort of uncertainty is very bad for children, who are easily humiliated anyway; in fact it might cause some to avoid public restrooms because they are uncertain which room is intended for them.

As a child I remember going to a seafood restaurant where the signs said "Buoys" and "Gulls" and I came back to the table and asked my parents what to do - an unwelcome distraction when I had other business to take care of.  It was humiliating to have to acknowledge that I needed to use said facilities and worse was that they made me feel so embarrassed by pointing out how "obvious" the answer was.  How many other poor youngsters have been too embarrassed to ask and spent a miserable uncomfortable time at the dinner table waiting for someone else of the same gender to make tracks so they could be sure where to go.

I don't remember any such silliness in any of the European countries I have visited.  They do not mess with your mind over such simple things.  We Americans should follow their good example and use universal restroom signs everywhere.

If you are in charge of restroom signs, have pity on those of us who are in a hurry and make it obvious and simple.   This Gull would appreciate it very much.