Unemployment: Unintended Consequences - Travel Opportunities

Sometimes you just have to act. Where travel is concerned, if you don't act quickly, you may lose out on an opportunity for a bargain priced trip and all the fun that goes along with it.

This spring, my dear friend and I were both unemployed, frustrated by the lack of interesting jobs in our respective fields and each had a little bit of money that we could devote to travel. We started researching opportunities and found an incredible deal on a cruise to the Baltic and Scandinavia that was just too good to ignore.

We went back and forth about making the commitment and finally decided that we would do it if we could each use our airline miles and get business class fares on flights that worked on our schedules (which at that point were pretty flexible since we weren't working). Remarkably, we got the flights and business class accommodations we wanted with miles to spare so we kept our promises and made the commitment. We booked a 10-day cruise beginning and ending in Copenhagen with a double room and a large balcony on one of the upper levels of a huge ship. We were going on a trip.

We both admit now that we had tiny twinges of buyers remorse immediately after making our payment and debiting our airline mile accounts. But, that lasted only a few minutes. From then on, between time spent hunting for jobs, we had a wonderful time researching each port and making long lists of places to hit. I made excel spreadsheets for most of the ports with museums and sites and their respective hours of operation, costs and other details. We were organized.

We booked this trip about a month in advance so we did not have the usual amount of planning time. Honestly, that was a good thing. We would have otherwise over-planned and panicked that were were doing something so impractical when unemployed.

We had the hardest times telling our respective Mothers who are both frugal and practical and thought we were nuts. But they didn't make us feel too bad. Friends were saluting our bravery given the economy and our situations and encouraged us and wished us well.

We vowed not to buy gifts or souvenirs and to watch out for our spending. We have traveled together before and although I am the worst, we can both splurge when it comes to buying (ask us about buying rugs in Turkey). But, we remained true to our vows and did not buy unnecessary items.

Of all the destinations, my interest was mainly in St. Petersburg, Russia, in particular the Catherine Palace and the Hermitage, and I was not disappointed and was so glad we had two days there. There were ports I wasn't especially interested in - Tallinn, Estonia and Gdansk, Poland - but I enjoyed the brief stops.

A cruise does not afford the luxury of getting to know the countries or the people or even the food since you dine primarily on the ship. With daytime stops, usually 8:00 a.m. until about 4:00 p.m., it was only possible to hit the highlights of the ports of call. We got a taste of Oslo, Helsinki and Stockholm.

All the Scandinavian cities were beautiful, with interesting museums, incredible water views and beautiful people. They were also very expensive. We longed to stay and were sad each time we returned to the ship. The weather was spectacular, the air was crisp and the routes in and out of the ports were filled with gorgeous scenery. We were thrilled to have a balcony and got accustomed to having room service on our perch for the departures and enjoyed magnificent late-night sunsets and early sunrises.

The place we got to know best was Copenhagen, after spending three nights and four days there. It is a beautiful city, full of history, with very accessible museums, castles and public buildings. The people are extremely hospitable and speak English. There is an energetic vibrancy about the place that is probably due to the healthy, young-looking people who walk and ride bicycles everywhere. The public transportation system is simple to navigate. By the end of the trip, we felt we knew Copenhagen pretty well, and had a glimpse into the lives of the Danish people and their fantastic city.

The last day, we visited Tivoli. It had been more than 30 years since my previous visit. Few things had changed. It was still beautiful, with lively music, flowering gardens, and beautifully painted carousels. Everything was much as it had been except the cost, of course. One change was the robot arm prize machine that previously offered trinkets and now has IPods!

In the end, we spent a little more than we had budgeted, in part because the dollar was so devalued. We paid in advance for many things, kept our credit cards only for essentials and used cash where possible.

I am so glad I wasn't afraid to be a little bit spontaneous and just a little bit frivolous. And I am pleased to have something that registers high on the fun scale for this period of uncertainty.

You never know what is around the corner and sometimes you just have to live a little. I certainly don't regret the decision and I know I would jump at the chance to go back to Scandinavia again.

Photos taken in Copenhagen

Unemployment: Unintended Consequences - Two Walks in the Park

When I commuted to a job five days a week, Saturday mornings were devoted to the same errands every week - going to the bank, post office, dry cleaners, and grocery store. A rare Friday off was either spent traveling or checking off more things on my to-do list. Things are different now. I just spent two days at Great Falls Park, Virginia!

Yesterday, my friend and I decided to hike in Great Falls Park, Virginia. They have a nice visitor's center where helpful staff mapped out a 4-mile hike for us. It was very dark out, although early afternoon, and soon after we began our hike, thunder rolled and the skies darkened. Then came the rain.

We laughed at each other because we looked ridiculous as our clothes hung lopsided with the weight of the water. We were soaked. We trudged on for a while, but then it became slippery and the puddles became streams. It was fun, but not quite the fun we had intended.

We saw a beautiful blue heron on the Potomac, but most of the other wildlife took cover from the downpour and we did the same.

A $5 park admission is good for three days, so this morning I went back with another friend. This time I took umbrellas in my backpack and wore clothes that would not be quite as heavy when drenched.

Surely due to my foresight, we did not have any rain!

We saw a mother deer and her two babies. We saw all three marvelous views of the falls from lookouts high above the Potomac.

As we ventured down the shady, wooded trail, we heard a loud noise that sounded like someone hammering. I got a big smile on my face when I realized it had to be a woodpecker close by - and it must be a big one.

I put my hand on the next tree and felt the vibrations and we knew it was the one that he was hammering. We figured he was inside the tree and spotted a large hole, probably 30 feet up the tree, where he must have entered.

My friend knocked on the tree, in a cadence similar to the woodpecker's, and I soon saw a red head peeking out the other side of the tree - there were two holes! He definitely was concerned about his territory and seemed puzzled as my friend knocked on the tree again. This happened a few more times and then he gave up, assuming there was an invisible intruder that might mean danger and he pulled himself out of the hole and flew off. It was thrilling to watch.

We saw wildflowers and huge boulders in interesting shapes and heard the late summer noises of the forest insects and birds. It was a nice visit and well worth the trip.

I appreciate having the freedom to enjoy Fridays and Saturdays doing things that have more lasting meaning than running errands! I know these days are numbered and I want to make the most of them. I might just go back to the park tomorrow since my ticket is good for three days!

One Toss, No Loss - Making Simple Decisions

I carry a silver dollar in my purse for the sole purpose of making decisions. I don't remember what exactly prompted me to do this, but I always have one with me. Mine was a gift from my brother; his gift has saved me countless hours of indecision.

Quite simply, the purpose of the coin is to neutralize the decision process and free my mind for other things.

If I can't decide on a restaurant, I toss the coin. If I am torn between two menu items in a restaurant, I bring out my silver dollar. The only rule is that you must live with whatever the coin decides.

The beauty of this system is that no one is at fault and you get on with it. I have pulled the coin out in meetings when people are arguing and it is clear that there are two good options. The coin decides and then the meeting will not last all day.

Usually, when I am at a decision point with two simple choices, neither of them can be bad, simply different. Friends and colleagues generally accept the toss because there is no favoritism and it takes away the fear of making a mistake.

I have given silver dollars as shower gifts, graduation gifts and even as wedding gifts. The coin is perfect for a young couple just starting out. They are bound to have arguments about whether the chair should face this way or that or any number of non life-altering decisions that just require you to do something and move on.

Medical problems, serious relationship issues, and anything with major consequences should be taken up in prayer and with a professional. But for the little things, try carrying a silver dollar.

It will lighten your load because you know that you can move on to more important things after a simple toss.

Unemployment: Unintended Consequences - A Gift of Time

I love living in the National Capital Area. Washington is incredibly rich with everything that feeds me mentally and spiritually except, temporarily, employment. After living here for some 30 years, however, I tend to take things for granted and I know to avoid certain hot spots because they will be jam-packed with tourists.

But this is the time of year to enjoy my favorite museums. This week and next, the subway will not be crowded and the museums will be nearly empty.

Today I met a friend for lunch at the Pavilion Cafe at the National Gallery of Art Sculpture Garden, located just West of the National Gallery of Art. There was no line. The food was fresh and tasty and we sat outdoors in a pleasant, shady spot where we could see the beautiful flowers and talk. It was positively refreshing, despite the heat. The photograph of the hibiscus was taken today.

I was to pick up my car from the dealership after lunch. During the routine servicing, they found a problem. I suddenly had two hours to kill while they fixed it.

This was a huge gift that, when I was working, would have caused me much frustration. But today, it was luxury and I was in the middle of the best place I could be to have that happen. I decided to make the most of it.

I made a dash through the West Wing of the National Gallery of Art. I love the Italian sculptures and there is a nice exhibit of works of Tullio Lombardo, 1455-1532, a Venetian Renaissance Sculptor. It showcases a few of his more portable high relief marble carvings ), which includes lovers, saints and heroes. It was heavenly. Cool, uncrowded and magnificently presented. See the website for more information: http://www.nga.gov/press/exh/2864/index.shtm.

With a little more time remaining, I crossed the street to the National Archives. I am embarrassed to admit that I have not been there since 1973. I always steer visitors there, but because I knew the lines were always long, I did not go myself. Today there were no lines.

The presentation of the Declaration of Independence in the rotunda of the building is impressive. It calmed me, reinforced my faith in the wisdom of the Founding Fathers and the backbone of our great country and made me so proud that my relatives were part of the American Revolution. I was also impressed by how respectful all of the visitors were. People spoke in whispers, possibly encouraged by the dim lighting, and filed very slowly by each of the panels. One of the children looked at his Mother as she stood in front of the Declaration of Independence and said "are you crying Mom?" "Yes," she said. "This is important."

I am so grateful for the gift of a little extra time today, and that I used it wisely. It was a good day and one that I will remember for a long time. I also want to spend more time in DC before Labor Day so that I can enjoy the peace and quiet of Washington at the end of summer.

Burned out on Unnatural Beeps, Dings and Chimes

This time of year, I love the sounds of nature. All day and all night, I hear the insect sounds that proclaim the glory and wonder of the last lazy days of summer. However, I find the beeps, dings and chimes of electronics are more annoying to me. Do you suppose that the inventors of these artificial noises were trying to imitate the sounds of the end of summer?

My coffee pot makes 3 high pitched beeps every morning when it has finished brewing---like I don't know that it is finished brewing? It makes more beeps when it automatically shuts itself off after 2 hours. By then, I really don't care to recognize its existence.

The seatbelt buzzer in my car is funny. It clearly wasn't calibrated for the average weight American because it thinks my gym bag is a person. When I pull away from the gym with the bag on the seat, it starts with the gentle beeping that accelerates to a higher pitched warning and finally sounds like the noises right before they say "blast off" for the space shuttles. My bag weighs less than 20 pounds. No humans of that weight sit in the front seat.

Last week in Florida I rented a car that I really enjoyed driving but it had the flashing light-honk-beep combination with the remote lock function. Who needs that much acknowledgement that they have simply locked the car? It discouraged me from locking the car.

When I was selecting my new refrigerator, the salesman pointed out that it had an alarm on it. I jokingly asked if that meant it made rude comments to you, or pig noises, when you needed to lose weight. He corrected me and didn't find my comment particularly funny. Since then I have left the door open dozens of times only to have the loud beeping remind me to close it. When I have it open on purpose - to fill it with groceries or trying to clean it out - it still beeps but at least it has a disabling function. Most of the beeps in my life do not. I wish the alarm would sound when I reach in for something I should not eat.

The microwave would beep into the next century if not opened when it finishes a job. It rarely works more than a minute or two at a time, not long enough to get any distance away from it. So why all the noise?

When I use the transponder/EZ Pass at most toll boths, there is a beep when you go through. My Mother's hearing loss restricts her from hearing it. In Florida I think a lot of people don't hear it. There are deaf drivers but no blind drivers; everyone can see the stop/go light change, even if they are color blind. Isn't the light enough?

I started thinking about this topic yesterday. Last evening I invited a friend over for dinner. As we sat on the deck and it grew darker, the night noises expanded with the darkness. This time of year, it is amazing how many natural noises we hear. They drown out the hum of the traffic or the clacking of the metro running above ground more than a mile away. We were blessed with the appearance of what I now know is a "false katydid" on the screen. I wasn't sure what it was and examined it. When left alone, it finally heard another katydid and then it started talking. We enjoyed its chatter. Later, one followed us indoors and I gently let it back outside.

This morning when the coffee maker finished brewing and made its five beeps, I heard an echo. Another katydid had gotten inside and was answering the coffee pot with its chatter. Now when I hear the coffee pot beep in the morning, I will think of the katydid and the other night noises of late summer. It's a wonderful time of year. I am going to focus on the natural noises.

If you want to know more about singing insects, visit this University of Florida site: http://www.entnemdept.ufl.edu/walker/buzz/index.htm I found it to be an interesting resource. It helped me to identify my false katydid. Thank you to Tom Walker of the Department of Entomology & Nematology for the photograph.

Unemployment: Unintended Consequences 2

One of the unexpected pleasures of having this time away from work is that I have been able to spend more time outdoors in my garden. It is a joyful place and every little thing I do brings rewards.

The pond is one of my favorite parts of the garden. It has a small waterfall that helps block out the sounds of the neighborhood and enhances the tranquility. There is a wooden bench beside it and now the plants have matured and it looks like it has always been there. Sometimes I sit on the bench and let my mind wander as I watch the activity of the pond life.

A good garden requires lots of love and must be fed. I compost all of the kitchen plant and vegetable matter, continuously filling the two huge black compost bins and working the compost into the earth. For Mother’s Day, my sons built me beautiful cedar raised beds for herbs and vegetables. We filled them with organic soil, compost from our bins and cow manure. I planted vegetables and herbs and every day spend a little bit of time weeding and watering and tending to these special plants.

Eventually the tomato plants began to flower and little green tomatoes appeared every where. Tiny beans appeared and peppers and okra flowered. They grew with every feeding of compost and cow manure. It was thrilling to see the results.

Finally, it was time to harvest the first crop of beans. It yielded 10 beans. We had five people at the dinner table that night and everyone was allotted two beans. I served them with a reverence that was perhaps undeserving but everyone tried to be enthusiastic although there were some snickers. Fortunately there were other more substantial courses.

Soon after, the tomatoes began to turn red and I marveled at the changes every day. Finally, I was able to pick a few and enjoy them. There were hundreds of tomatoes on the plants and surely, I thought, they would ripen gradually so that the crop would last for many weeks.

Then one day I noticed that a tomato had been violated with a huge gash torn through its crimson flesh. I gasped in horror and looked around for the culprit who had by then vanished. Daily, I noticed more gashes on other fruit. I left the damaged goods so that the perpetrator could claim his original victim rather than choose a new one. That tactic did not work. Then, I found 4 beautiful red tomatoes, partially eaten, underneath a bush. I must have startled the thieves who dropped the goods en route to their hiding place. Fruit continued to disappear.

I tried picking tomatoes before they were ripe. Soon I found green ones on the ground around the plants and I noticed that the leaves of the tall plants were shredded...presumably by the miserable little feet connected to the mouths that were eating my tomatoes.

Today I took inventory and one plant has no more fruit. Most of the tomatoes are missing off of the other plants as well. Tomato season should last a while longer, but mine has been cut short by varmints.

I have enjoyed my tomatoes. I’m annoyed at the thieves. But there are few more tomatoes and they don’t eat the beans or the hot peppers or the okra. And the herbs will last far into fall. Maybe it’s the peaceful sound of water falling in the pond that keeps me from losing my temper over this, or just knowing that this has been a special time and an unusual opportunity to appreciate nature in many forms.

Unemployment: Unintended Consequences

Note: I have been unemployed since January 20. It is not all bad. In fact, there have been some precious, wonderful moments during this period as I try to find the perfect fit for me, work into doing some consulting in the interim and weigh my options. But there have been unexpected consequences of unemployment that I was not prepared for.

Lately, I have been annoyed every morning at dog walking time. My job loss, however indirectly, has resulted in a profound shortage of the essential plastic poop bags for the morning walk.

Once I faced the reality of unemployment, a few months into the year, I started cutting back on expenses. Reluctantly, I gave up The Wall Street Journal (great plastic poop bags), then The New York Times (also with great plastic poop bags), except for the Sunday edition. What remains is one poop bag a day from The Washington Post. It’s an equally good poop bag, but one bag is inadequate for the production of an 11 year old lab. I need three bags a day and I only get one newspaper.

I have turned to plastic grocery bags, when I can get them, out of desperation. But I have very few of them because I have reusable bags. And, the grocery store bags get little holes in them, clearly defeating the purpose of using them for poop bags. If I wanted poop on my hands, I would not have this problem in the first place.

Now, when friends come over and bring things in plastic bags, I thank them profusely. I cherish each plastic bag like a gift from heaven, sometimes to their annoyance as I ignore the gift or food inside in my excitement about getting another poop bag. Each new addition is quickly added to the stash in the closet, ready for the next day’s deposit.

It may sound trivial, but it is an unintended consequence that causes a lot of extra stress in my morning routine. It’s the little things that get you down. The symbolism is astonishing. Literally, these are poopy times.

This is the first in what I envision will be a long list of unintended consequences of unemployment. Stay tuned. Tomorrow I will add something new. Do you have any additions?

Update --- This posting has resulted in an outpouring of offers of newspaper bags. I have a good supply now and do not need any more.  Thank you.

Animal Encounters

Wherever I am, I always watch for animals. You just never know when you are going to encounter one; I may see something unusual or maybe just a beautiful spider's web with beads of dew that look like pearls.

After I told my sister about the animal encounters on my recent trip to see my Mother in Florida, she said that she has noticed that I have “a thing with animals.” They “do stuff” when I am around and I "always" seem to be in the right place at the right time to see them. I suspect this has more to do with me being alert to their activities, and always looking out for something interesting. Or maybe I am just lucky.

I take exception to “always.” When we vacationed in the Pacific Northwest, I watched for whales. And watched. And watched from the places where “everyone” saw them. Nary a whale and it was whale season.

When I was four or five, I tried to catch a live squirrel by putting my stuffed squirrel in the yard near a box with a stick propping it up. I waited for hours, convinced that a real squirrel would be fooled by my stuffed one, trip the stick and be captured under the box. I never even saw a real squirrel that day.

But then there are the critters that find their way to me.

I have seen a pair of foxes playing and yipping as they frolicked at dusk in the park in my neighborhood. I live inside the Washington Beltway, not in the country.

Coyotes visit my neighborhood sometimes. I have encountered them four different times, very close to me, on early morning walks. They always saw me and stopped and stared. I avoided getting close, but wasn't afraid.

Several times I have seen the hawk that lives in our neighborhood catching and eating squirrels. Once he sat on the rails of the deck, just outside the window. I think he was feeding off the chipmunks that ate the seed that the birds dropped from the feeder.

Our family has a cottage on a lake in Kentucky. In the lake this spring, I saw schools of hundreds of newly hatched, nearly transparent striped bass. I also saw mother bluegills guarding their eggs in their underwater nests. I followed loud, hollow hammering sounds in the woods there and seen an enormous pileated woodpecker.

Also at the cottage, there was a huge black snake resting in the eves above the dinner table on the porch where we were eating. I am not fond of snakes so I hope that its positioning was merely a coincidence and that it will not visit again.

Once my brother and I saw an owl as we were leaving the cottage. It was daytime, when you don’t usually see owls, and we thought it must represent our Dad, recently departed and the former owner of the cottage. Who whoo knows?

I decided to participate in the Great Backyard Bird Count this year and in the 10 minutes I was counting, a flock of Bohemian Waxwings (I counted 9) visited the pond in my yard. I had never seen a Bohemian Waxwing before and I assumed it was my reward for participating in the count. It was thrilling to watch them strip the berries from the bush adjacent to the pond and bathe in the waterfall. The next count is in February, 2010. Consider participating and maybe bohemian waxwings or something equally exciting will reward you too (http://www.birdsource.org/gbbc/).

I raise bullfrogs in my garden pond. Each year I get a few tadpoles and delight in watching them turn to frogs. Last year, several were finally mature enough that they began to sing. They should have kept quiet because then the owl that lives in the neighborhood began to visit every night, making hooting noises as he hunted in the garden. The frogs disappeared and a few weeks later the owl stopped coming around. I miss the frogs' singing. But new frogs have matured and soon they will sing. I am hopeful that the owl will not return.

A catbird recently followed the dog and me on our morning walk, going from tree to tree for several blocks, watching us and occasionally flying in front of us. That bird often greets me in the driveway and observes us when we are out in the garden.

A mother wren brought her baby up to my deck when I was out reading the paper one morning. I hung the house that she made her nest in. I think the deck visit was my thank you present.

This week in Florida, I saw two dolphins in a river corralling mullet for their dinner. They had come up from the Gulf of Mexico. We timed our visit perfectly and it was a huge surprise.

Also on this week's trip, when I was walking a Rails to Trails path, I saw a young armadillo rooting out its breakfast in the grass right next to me. It hopped straight up when startled and took off, making good time on its stubby little legs.

Once when we were swimming in a spring-fed freshwater stream in Florida I saw a ray on the sandy bottom. He swam downstream with my son. It was so dramatic to watch them swimming together in the strong current. Maybe he was glad to have found friends so far from his ocean habitat.

When I visited my friend in California a pair of roadrunners made morning visits to her yard. They were very curious and made no effort to run away when I went out and took photographs of them.

This is a partial list. I don’t think I am “always” in the right place at the right time, but I do think I am observant and very fortunate and maybe I have a special relationship with some of the critters out there. Or maybe they just know that I am only an observer and that they are safe with me.

Back to School - Empty Nest

Washington is quiet now without Congress in session, absent the workers whose vacation schedules mirror those of lawmakers, and with tourists going home to buy school supplies and prepare for the Fall schedules.

Colleges and University students have begun departing for school; some have started Fall classes. Many upper classmen, like my son, departed early in order to move into apartments, reconnect with friends and get settled and resume their social lives before classes start.

Summers were more complicated when my children were younger. As a single, working mother I started piecing together childcare in January and February in order to ensure that interesting and affordable experiences were there for both boys. By this point in those summers, it was difficult to find childcare and, as a result, we generally took our vacations during the last few weeks of August.

While a lingering sadness about summer ending is in the minds of those parents of young children, their loss is less dramatic. Sure, they have to take on the homework police role and get the children up earlier and there are no more late nights spent catching fireflies. But they don't have to say good-bye.

The parents of college students not only lose the carefree days of summer but they lose their fun and energetic sons and daughters as they begin their departures for schools near and far.

While I haven’t taken a poll, I suspect that the single parents are especially sad to see their students leave. My sons and I have a special bond that in part developed because it has been just the three of us for a very long time. When they leave, I feel disconnected and it becomes more painfully obvious that there is a family link missing. It’s ghostly quiet, save the dog’s occasionally noises, and there is nobody who needs me. It takes several days to get over the sadness...and to pick up the feathers discarded by the ones who left the nest.

Single parents and whole families alike suffer a loss that can be intense. It is hard to fill the void and it can be very sad without the chicks at home. There are no more dirty socks left by the door (or under beds, behind the couch, even on top of furniture). The laptop doesn’t occupy space in the family room and that white-noise hum of its motor is absent. Dirty glasses aren’t scattered throughout the house. For the parents of boys, toilet seats stay down. And for us all, the porch light goes out much earlier. It’s quiet and it’s boring.

Oh it’s nice that the grocery bill goes way down and the water and electricity usages are significantly reduced. But those are small prices to pay for the entertainment they provide, the sense of importance they give us and the pride we have in seeing just how well they have done and what interesting humans they have become. My sons are not only hugely entertaining but extremely loving and helpful. When they aren’t around, I have to find other ways to get projects done. Let’s face it, there is no better comfort food than family. They feed us in a way nothing else can and they make us feel complete.

With college students, I have appreciated summers more than ever because I have had the privilege of having my sons home and all the energy and enthusiasm they bring. With the last one starting his Senior year, this week’s good-bye was bitter sweet with the knowledge that there won’t be another end of August like this again.

Life goes on and Thanksgiving will be here before I know it. I had better start picking up those feathers!

Essential Boomer Equipment

Last week I traveled with a friend to spend time with our mutual dear friend whose Mother had just passed away. It was a quick trip that involved an overnight in a lovely resort with amenities that we did not have an opportunity to take advantage of. However, the one thing I did use was the magnifying mirror in the spacious, well-appointed bathroom.

I had never used a magnifying mirror. My friend couldn't believe it and commented that everyone our age needs one. I was afraid to use it because I knew what I would see. When I did look, sure enough, I saw the skin of a woman who grew up in Florida and began tanning in February every year. But I also could see to apply eyeliner - something I struggled with at home because my mirror is on the far side of the sink. It was great. I was amazed. Now I knew what she was talking about. I had to get one of these marvelous tools

When I got home, I ordered one online. It arrived and I installed it, being sure to use all of the screws and anchors so it would be well grounded and I could use its extendable arm to its full length.

When I looked in it for the first time I nearly jumped out of my skin. Unknowingly, I had ordered a 7x mirror, which was at least 2x more magnification than I had used at the hotel. All over again, I experienced the shock of the look of my skin, now aged at least 2x from a week ago. Getting over the trauma, I convinced myself that I will eventually be glad I got the stronger mirror. It will only get harder to see and I'll gradually care less about the wrinkles. After all, this is essential equipment for everyone of a certain age.

The Last Supper--- With Many Blessings

I especially enjoyed mealtimes while the Chinese women visited, because we discussed many different topics and they asked questions about life in America, what we thought about things in China and what we liked and didn't like. Discussion was lively and included such topics as: population control and their one-child rule (we found out that you can "buy" the right to have more children -rich people have multiple children); education of and treatment of women; different regions of China and the US- accents, foods, and types of spices; different religions and their practices; eating habits [I brought up the obesity problem in America]; the branches of government in the US and elections; education; air quality; travel; and living with parents and other family members. As the last dinner together approached, I looked forward to our conversation and, of course, their much-discussed Chinese home-cooked meal

The last afternoon of their visit, they burst excitedly through the front door with tales of their graduation, last minute shopping and concerns about getting packed in time to make their morning flight. Then they said they needed to consult their list and get ready to "prepare Chinese meal," the dinner that we had been so excited about.

They changed into their cooking clothes and I outfitted them with designer aprons as they began to work. They maneuvered flawlessly in my small kitchen, speaking enthusiastically in Chinese (well at least it sounded enthusiastic and their faces showed delight). Every so often one would ask me to find an ingredient in the cupboard, or name an ingredient I had never heard of. Each time I was told to "now go rest...we fix the dinner."

For two hours the smells of ginger, soy, sesame oil, tofu, chicken and garlic penetrated the house. I took photographs of them cooking. They thought that was amusing. My son came home from work and proclaimed that he was excited about tasting what smelled so good.

At last we all sat down to a beautiful spread of 7 different dishes [in case you are counting, there are only 6 in the photograph; the chicken is missing], that they said had "no name...we just know recipes." I said grace before we began, a tradition they were not accustomed to but one that we practice at every meal. As is usual, I thanked God for the meal and then recognized the cooks, asked for them to have a safe journey and finally that we would enjoy the experience of eating what they prepared. I admit that I peeked as prayed with my head bowed, curious to see their reaction to the personalized blessing. They both had their heads down, palms and fingertips together, nodding at each reference, and with wide grins when I mentioned enjoying their food.

It was fantastic. The flavors were so rich and fresh and each dish was an individual masterpiece of combination. The chicken, I learned, was more tender and flavorful because they boil it first, then saute it. That gets out the "dead chicken" flavor, they said.

We were all famished and ate quickly, finishing in about 20 minutes. Conversation was somewhat limited while we ate, except to comment on the dishes, ask about ingredients and utter positive sounds as we tasted. When we finished, I said that they must feel like I do on Thanksgiving - so many hours spent in preparation for the very short time it takes to consume. They agreed, but reminded that cooking for them was special because they have Mothers who do their cooking for them. They rarely cook at home.

We lingered at the table, talking about different American holidays and how the young people in China have adopted them - Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas to name a few. However, they have no religious significance in China. "You miss the point entirely with Christmas and Easter," I said. "But our young people do what Americans do," one replied.

I asked them if there were any things that were different here than they anticipated - either during their stay with us or the rest of the trip. They said that the thing that was so much different from what they expected was my children ("American males," they said). "We expected them to be selfish and materialistic, but they love their Mother and they help you so much. We hear teenagers in America are not that way." Now I was beaming with pride, "I am very fortunate," I said, "my 'boys' are very special." "You should have seen us when we were teenagers," the youngest [now age 22] piped in, "we weren't always this way. Teenagers are a pain."

How blessed we are to have had this time with these wonderful women. I have heard from them since their arrival in Beijing. One has sent photographs of places in China and said that they are quarantined at home for a week as a precaution against the flu.

Small Animals Take on Distinctive Human Behaviors and Characteristics

During the past week with the Chinese professors, I began to understand how they learned English and how they categorized and filed away the bits and pieces they gathered as they experienced many everyday American activities. In order to absorb the important things and not overwhelm themselves with too much detail, they take a summary snapshot of the ideas, sometimes absent the humor, emotion or details that we Americans might ruminate endlessly.

Last night, on an evening driving tour of Washington, I pointed out landmarks that they might find interesting. They echoed their summaries of what they knew or recognized, as if I were quizzing them with flashcards or playing Alex Trebek on Jeopardy. Supreme Court building - "first Hispanic justice - Sotomayor!" US Capitol- "Congress!" Vice President's home - "not Cheney..." ["It's Biden," I said.] The Old Executive Office Building "Eisenhower Executive Office Building!" I started to explain how the Frenchman Pierre L'Enfant planned Washington with numbered streets going north and south, letters east and west and state at angles everywhich way. They interrupted and together shouted "L'Enfant Plaza Metro." "Yes, that's right, " I replied and continued. At the conclusion, one said "Oh, M street West to East." "Yes sort of," I said, "except where it is one way and only East to West." So much for the simple snapshot.

"What is the relationship of the Governors to the Senators," they asked. "Nothing formal," I said. "The Senators do not report to Governors," I explained adding facts about their roles. "But," I said, "most Governors have offices in Washington and have staff who help them lobby Congress to get things for their states." "Oh," they answered in unison, "we have that in Beijing." I decided not to complicate the lesson with further discussion.

En route to the airport this morning, the women asked many questions about the area outside the Washington Beltway and things they had heard about the United States and Americans. "Are there still Indians," they wondered? I squashed their mental [movie] pictures of American Indians as savages when I explained that many now live in poverty on land that is absent buffalo and not good for growing crops or enabling self sufficiency. That was not what they expected.

They asked about the Amish. Some of their classmates had been to Pennsylvania and talked about the horses and "carts" and how the Amish are environmentalists because they live off the land and do not waste resources. "This is religion?" one asked. I answered "yes," realizing later that that their picture of this religion is absent some pixels.

We talked about their classmates and who would be flying back with them and the man who complained every day that he was hungry. I joked that I hoped they did not have to sit next to him. They giggled and called me "very funny."

"Do you know the stories of Winnie the Pooh," I asked. "Of course, " they replied, puzzled that I would ask whether they knew about something so obviously Disney. I told them that their descriptions of the hungry man reminded me of Eeyore, who seemed never to be happy about anything. They agreed, seeming surprised that I would make the comparison. [I thought my joking about how many Eeyores I have dated would be lost on them so I kept that thought to myself.] I went on to say that I think that most groups of people anywhere have each of the characters in Winnie the Pooh. "There is always an Eeyore," I said, " and hopefully a Tigger to balance out his negativity. " "Yes, the one who bounces and has no teeth," one said, recognizing the character and possibly grasping my analogy. As is typical of conversations we had over the week of their visit, the other summarized succinctly, "yes, small animals take on distinctive human behaviors and characteristics." And so they do.

I hope one of them was seated next to a Pooh, who would make good company on a long flight back to Beijing.

Just like Mom's: The Ultimate Compliment

There is truly no greater compliment than having guests enjoy the food I prepare. It's the Southerner in me, or the old fashioned Mom in me that wants nothing more than for you to love my cooking.

After almost several days of worrying that the visiting Chinese professors were not getting enough to eat, I asked them what they like to eat. They said that the food they missed most was rice. American rice, they said, had no flavor and was "not sticky". Not a rice fan, and always conscious of "empty carbs," I avoid making it because it makes a horrible mess mess in the saucepan as I inevitably use too little water, too much heat and forget about it until it burns. But I wanted to make my guests happy diners. I went to the local international grocery store and bought rice from Thailand and a small rice cooker.

When they walked in the door that night, they smelled it. Smells evoke memories and can be soothing and even enchanting. I could tell it in their faces as their noses followed the scent and they smiled, then giggled.

They were clearly delighted to have something that smelled and tasted like home. More than that, they were so touched by the thought. It was just a little thing for me, but it meant so much to them and they were clearly overjoyed to have this familiar, simple food. "It tastes like my Mother's rice," one said. In China, as in America, this is the ultimate compliment. It doesn't get better than Mom, even without the apple pie. I beamed, they ate.

The next day I sent containers of rice for their lunch at school. That evening they returned their empty containers and said that they had shared some rice with their Chinese colleagues at school that day and told them that I had made the rice for them. They were impressed. I offered to make some more rice for them to take to their friends the following day. "No, that is too much," one said, "we will spoil them."

Each night since, I have fixed rice with dinner. They always finish the rice and rarely finish the other American food - until last night. They loved the grilled eggplant and asked for seconds. Again, the ultimate compliment.

Tonight, they will fix us a traditional Chinese meal. Last night we went shopping for the ingredients and I learned which soy sauce is "the best." I enjoyed going through the international grocery store, following behind them as they looked for their ingredients and found familiar items. These lovely, highly educated women, whose own Mothers live with them and do most of the cooking, were alternately methodical and childlike in their approach to the shopping experience. They say they are not very good cooks, because they do not do it often.

I look forward to repaying them the compliment of cleaning my plate. But I know I won't be able to tell them that is just like my Mother's because the only Chinese food she ever fixed for me in the 1960's and 70's was from a can, American style.

Chinese Guests Help Define Wealth

Last night we hosted a pot luck dinner for friends and neighbors to meet our Chinese guests. Everyone brought something that was regional, from their hometowns or grown in their gardens. We had a map of the US so that friends could show our guests where they were born and even take a few minutes to talk about it. This sparked much conversation and it was a lively evening that everyone seemed to enjoy. I may have been the most blessed, however.

[We were so busy with other interesting conversation that the bicycle incident of the morning was not discussed. ]

We asked the Chinese guests many questions, from what life was like in China to inquiries about family members, work and the economy. They asked us questions about our families, where we live and our lives. A serious discussion of economics took place between one of the men and one of the Chinese women.

They wanted to know what the "middle class" was like and noted the wealth of food and "things" in my home and thought I must be "upper class". Unemployed since January and struggling to get my first consulting client for my LLC, I was aghast to think someone would consider me to be upper class. "But you have too much to be middle class," one said. This was a casual observation on her part, but for me a most interesting perspective. When I am spending too much time on the "pity pot", feeling poor, worrying about how I will make ends meet down the road if the employment situation does not improve, and not recognizing my obvious wealth in the eyes of others I will remember that and "get off the pot".

These ladies are college professors and well educated. Their textbooks, and likely the professors they learned from, taught them that middle class is simply average and clearly we live better than the average lives they know in China. But certainly I would not consider myself to be upper class. In classrooms far away, the definitions are more rigid and do not take into consideration the vast differences in regions of the US and of the world. Our standards are very high in this metropolitan area. People have a lot of money (and debt) and possessions. We seek more wealth, acquire more things, and do not appreciate that we are already wealthy in the eyes of many. In short, we do not appreciate enough what we have.

It took that simple observation from a Chinese college professor to make me think that I need to re-examine my priorities during this extended time of opportunity for reflection that I have been "gifted" via unemployment. I am in so many ways very wealthy. I have food for my table, friends who are worth their weight in gold, children who are truly my greatest gift from God, family members who are inspirational, and many opportunities available to me. In the eyes of others I am wealthy, and I thank my Chinese guests for helping me to more fully recognize that I have been blessed with many riches.

Explaining Rude American Behavior to Foreign Visitors

This morning the dog and I walked two visiting Chinese professors to the Metro. As it was their first day commuting to Georgetown University from my home in the Virginia suburbs of Washington, DC, I wanted to make sure that they felt secure enough to make the pleasant walk on their own this evening.

As we approached the paved pedestrian/bike path, I warned them to stay to the right of the yellow line and that sometimes you do not hear bicycles approaching, often going very fast. One professor asked simply "Do they not have chimes?" "Most do," I explained, "but many do not use them." They both appeared puzzled but asked no more questions. Unfortunately, they quickly understood my warning. A biker came up behind us at top speed, not using the warning bell on his handlebars. He passed very close to one of the women. She was startled and nearly stumbled in his path. He scowled, and sped on. It happened a second time and I once again observed an unused bell.

My experience was completely the opposite in Copenhagen, where there are many people who commute to the city by bicycle. Many times, usually when I was focused on taking a photograph or observing architecture, I walked in the path of a bicycle, even though the lanes were clearly marked. Never did I receive a scowl, or anything but a knowing smile. They were friendly, clearly used to tourists. Their pace was equally fast, but they did not seem to put themselves above others who shared the road.

I suspect the professors and I will have a chat about this at dinner this evening and I will try to explain the attitude, knowing I will not come up with an answer that makes this morning's experience any less of a bad reflection. How do you explain why someone has a chime but does not use it? Are we in too much of a hurry or is it a different attitude?