#2 and Proud of it!

Hi everyone it's me Mia, the adopted #2 dog.  Just because I arrived second, do not think I am not important nor assume I am a gal who lets anybody push me around.

So far I only feel like #2 when Dudley body slams me to get to a bush or patch of grass when we are on a walk, or when it is treat time and he juxtapositions to get the first one.  I derive pleasure in knowing he has no clue what "juxtaposition" means. 

My arrival was preceded by a very long van ride in which I had to endure a lot of barking from other orphans who would soon have families.  Unfortunately they were mostly those little things with high-pitched barks that make big girls like me want to put our tails in their faces.  But I am too nice for that.  I just tried to go into my little doggy Ohm meditation and deal with it until we finally got to meet my new Mom!

What did we do right after I got out of that truck full of yappers but ride in the car for almost two hours. Aunt Debbie talked to me and scratched me and that made me feel tons better.  At least it was quiet.

On arriving cold on a frigid night in late February, Dudley and I were introduced and then turned loose in the awesome back yard.  There was a pond. I LOVE water.  So I went swimming.  That got me in some trouble and I stank like frogs and rotting leaves, but it was great fun before I realized how cold it was.  Mom had towels so all was well.

Mom worked from home for the first few weeks after I arrived, so we had tons of time together and walks all around town.  It took Dudley and me a while to get comfortable with one another and he stole my bed almost immediately.  It was just a power play so I acted like his bed was better and slept in it.  Really any bed is an improvement over a cage in a truck full of yapping height-challenged brothers and sisters.  Besides, I am taller and heavier than the Dud and he knows it.  So in the end, after crawling in bed with him to show him I knew which was mine, I won my bed back. 

We sit together on the deck overlooking the garden and make sure it is free of rabbits.  We chase birds and occasionally find a vole.  When we do, we play with it until it gives up.  A few days later it creates the most wonderful perfume that we roll in before presenting ourselves to Mom.  I've learned that she's not as excited about our fanciness as we are, especially when we roll around on the rugs inside before she discovers our scent.

Dudley is pretty easygoing and slow and I just love to annoy him by attacking him when he is sleeping or biting his ears when he is just walking by.  Then we fight and run and chase until he is worn out.  I never get tired. 

My new best friend is Emma.  She lives next door and loves to run.  I didn't know people liked to do that too (Mom isn't a runner).  Emma sometimes invites me out and we run for miles and then I come home and get a cool down rub and extra food. Dudley has to be kept somewhere else when the extra food comes out; he is a little chubby and doesn't deserve extra because he does not run.  When Emma comes over I jump for joy and twist in the air when all four feet leave the ground.  I can hardly stand my excitement and I get very impatient while she puts on my leash. 

I love walks and I always have to be in front.  I admit it that I am fast and I want to be out there.  When Dudley tries to nose ahead I have to pick up the pace. It is my job to show that girls can keep pace or even move ahead of the dudes.  Part of the reason of course is that I don't stop to pee all over everything.   That seems like such a waste of time.

Here are some things I think you might want to know if you are thinking of adopting a second dog.  Some of them are things Mom says.

• The second dog is exponential in terms of time, money and love. 
• Girl dogs are easier than boys.  We are far more accommodating and just want to get along. 
• Everyone else's toys always are more interesting looking than our own.  And we might tend to hoard just a little bit...because we have been deprived.
• It takes us about 3 months to be pretty sure you aren't going to give us away or dump us like we have experienced in the past.
• When we finally are comfortable that we get to stay, then we will play and eat more and even start to bark; Mom was ecstatic when she first heard me bark.  Then she knew I was going to be ok.
• If you can trust us, try not to make us go in a cage.  Thankfully I got a Mom who doesn't use them.  We have our beds and Dudley taught me all about procedures.  That probably means that if you have one bad dog, you can be sure that the new dog will learn from them (and you; lots of bad dog behavior has more to do with human behavior).  Thankfully Dudley has been a good teacher.
• If you teach us manners from the start we will not forget them.  I know I have to sit when we are on the leash and Dudley stops for another bush-wetting.  And most importantly, I know to sit before crossing the street; Mom says that will save my life someday.

So now we are on our second half-year.  Dudley has stopped acting like Eeyore and has accepted me.  I know my boundaries with Dudley and Mom.  My only wish is that I catch one of those brown bunnies we see in the neighbors' yards.  I really want one.

READ ABOUT MY ADOPTION

READ ABOUT HOW DUDLEY FELT ABOUT MY ADOPTION

Adopted dog's first year

Only weeks after losing our beloved Dallas, I adopted Dudley, the little chocolate lab mix.  One year ago today we began a new adventure and established this day as his birthday. 

First ride in Robert's truck

The beginning

A friend sent me the internet posting for "Dudley", a small chocolate lab mix.  Because of his name, I paid extra attention.  For the Love of Labs said he was mild mannered, polite and loved belly rubs more than anything (later I found out that he really loves food more but belly rubs are a definite second).  Dudley came from Missouri when I was still grieving over the lost of the best dog in the world.  I trusted that everyone who encouraged me was right; I would love this dog that I had never met.

Waiting for a walk

Within moments of meeting us, Dudley jumped in the car and was ready for another adventure. And so began the year with the little brown bundle my son called "Mom's internet dog".

It takes four seasons

I have heard people say that you need to be with someone in all four seasons to really know them and the same is true for dogs.  Dudley was nothing like he is now when I first met him and every season brought changes and experiences. 

Dudley in his early days; not much activity

He never misbehaved.  If anything, he was strangely docile for many months.  I think he was depressed.  He didn't play with toys or chase balls.  He rarely even chewed on sticks.  At about 3 months, that changed.  Suddenly he pounced on squeaky toys and chased balls, shooting through the yard like a little brown bullet.  After 6 months he really relaxed and became a vibrant, loving, happy and well adjusted sweet dog. He started barking at the mailman and when visitors came to the door.  He became the master of the house.   I think it took him that long to believe he was here to stay.

Contentment

His traveling water bowl

Dudley is a fantastic car traveler and has logged several thousand miles in the past year.  He is happy to ride and sleep and explore new places at rest stops, marking his path at every stop.   He even gets an occasional fast food meal (no bun for the dog).

Just before Christmas we had our "Nightmare on Broad Street" when he discovered and ate rat poison from an improperly installed bait container in the middle of our downtown. Dudley had a rough afternoon following treatment at the vet but recovered quickly. 

Christmas morning with Santa Matt

He was a little confused by all the activity but he loved his Christmas bounty of dog bones and a stuffed toy.  Our winter was so mild that he didn't get to experience a real snowfall and weather never impeded our daily walks.

Chasing a chipmunk

That chipmunk is in here somewhere

Spring came early and was beautiful.  We took long walks and enjoyed the arrival of new life.  Dudley was pleased that the rabbits were out in force and he continues to enjoy his evening rabbit hunts in the neighborhood.

Dudley and his squeaky frog

Today, his birthday/adoption anniversary, was like most days. He inhaled his breakfast, patrolled the garden, napped, took a long walk around the neighborhood and through the woods, napped, changed locations and napped some more, patrolled the garden a few more times, inhaled his dinner, took a 30 minute walk, napped, patrolled the garden to rid it of the encroaching night creatures, and settled in for the night.   His birthday gift is his contentment in knowing he has the important job of garden sentry, guardian of the home, and master of the back seat of the car.  

Dudley and me, Tampa, Florida

In honor of his birthday, I made a contribution to For the Love of Labs.  I am grateful to them for saving Dudley and for giving many more dogs good forever homes.  

The Year in Review: Dudley's Stats

•             550 hours of walking; 1,375+ miles
•             1,100 or more bags of poo collected on walks
•             5,110 or more markings on bushes (average 7 per walk)
•             12 pounds lost; 21% of body weight (now a slim & trim 45 lbs)
•             4,900 miles traveled by car
•             $2,100 vet bills and medicine
•             $250 dog chow 

Discovering frogs in the pond

Running with Anna in Kentucky

 Lessons Learned

•             Cats scratch.
•             It is great to be loved.
•             Green beans are filling and help with weight loss.
•             There is a new discovery on every walk, every day.
•             The mailman will not come through the door as long as you bark.
•             Visitors bring treats and belly rubs.
•             You're asking for trouble if you swim in the garden pond.
•             Hanging around the kitchen during cooking time pays off.
•             Rays of sun through the window mark the best napping spot.
•             The best part of a bath is the end.
•             Trouble is walking  in the house with muddy feet.
•             Home is right here.
•             Belly rubs are sweet.
•             Rabbits are faster than dogs.

Chasing a frog in Kentucky

Exploring in the woods, Kentucky

Stalking squirrels in Florida

Exploring Horse Creek in Tennessee with Nancy Katherine

Hunting chipmunks in the wood pile

Sleeping through Halloween

Playing with a captured vole (eventually it escaped)

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Just like Mom's: The Ultimate Compliment

There is truly no greater compliment than having guests enjoy the food I prepare. It's the Southerner in me, or the old fashioned Mom in me that wants nothing more than for you to love my cooking.

After almost several days of worrying that the visiting Chinese professors were not getting enough to eat, I asked them what they like to eat. They said that the food they missed most was rice. American rice, they said, had no flavor and was "not sticky". Not a rice fan, and always conscious of "empty carbs," I avoid making it because it makes a horrible mess mess in the saucepan as I inevitably use too little water, too much heat and forget about it until it burns. But I wanted to make my guests happy diners. I went to the local international grocery store and bought rice from Thailand and a small rice cooker.

When they walked in the door that night, they smelled it. Smells evoke memories and can be soothing and even enchanting. I could tell it in their faces as their noses followed the scent and they smiled, then giggled.

They were clearly delighted to have something that smelled and tasted like home. More than that, they were so touched by the thought. It was just a little thing for me, but it meant so much to them and they were clearly overjoyed to have this familiar, simple food. "It tastes like my Mother's rice," one said. In China, as in America, this is the ultimate compliment. It doesn't get better than Mom, even without the apple pie. I beamed, they ate.

The next day I sent containers of rice for their lunch at school. That evening they returned their empty containers and said that they had shared some rice with their Chinese colleagues at school that day and told them that I had made the rice for them. They were impressed. I offered to make some more rice for them to take to their friends the following day. "No, that is too much," one said, "we will spoil them."

Each night since, I have fixed rice with dinner. They always finish the rice and rarely finish the other American food - until last night. They loved the grilled eggplant and asked for seconds. Again, the ultimate compliment.

Tonight, they will fix us a traditional Chinese meal. Last night we went shopping for the ingredients and I learned which soy sauce is "the best." I enjoyed going through the international grocery store, following behind them as they looked for their ingredients and found familiar items. These lovely, highly educated women, whose own Mothers live with them and do most of the cooking, were alternately methodical and childlike in their approach to the shopping experience. They say they are not very good cooks, because they do not do it often.

I look forward to repaying them the compliment of cleaning my plate. But I know I won't be able to tell them that is just like my Mother's because the only Chinese food she ever fixed for me in the 1960's and 70's was from a can, American style.

Chinese Guests Help Define Wealth

Last night we hosted a pot luck dinner for friends and neighbors to meet our Chinese guests. Everyone brought something that was regional, from their hometowns or grown in their gardens. We had a map of the US so that friends could show our guests where they were born and even take a few minutes to talk about it. This sparked much conversation and it was a lively evening that everyone seemed to enjoy. I may have been the most blessed, however.

[We were so busy with other interesting conversation that the bicycle incident of the morning was not discussed. ]

We asked the Chinese guests many questions, from what life was like in China to inquiries about family members, work and the economy. They asked us questions about our families, where we live and our lives. A serious discussion of economics took place between one of the men and one of the Chinese women.

They wanted to know what the "middle class" was like and noted the wealth of food and "things" in my home and thought I must be "upper class". Unemployed since January and struggling to get my first consulting client for my LLC, I was aghast to think someone would consider me to be upper class. "But you have too much to be middle class," one said. This was a casual observation on her part, but for me a most interesting perspective. When I am spending too much time on the "pity pot", feeling poor, worrying about how I will make ends meet down the road if the employment situation does not improve, and not recognizing my obvious wealth in the eyes of others I will remember that and "get off the pot".

These ladies are college professors and well educated. Their textbooks, and likely the professors they learned from, taught them that middle class is simply average and clearly we live better than the average lives they know in China. But certainly I would not consider myself to be upper class. In classrooms far away, the definitions are more rigid and do not take into consideration the vast differences in regions of the US and of the world. Our standards are very high in this metropolitan area. People have a lot of money (and debt) and possessions. We seek more wealth, acquire more things, and do not appreciate that we are already wealthy in the eyes of many. In short, we do not appreciate enough what we have.

It took that simple observation from a Chinese college professor to make me think that I need to re-examine my priorities during this extended time of opportunity for reflection that I have been "gifted" via unemployment. I am in so many ways very wealthy. I have food for my table, friends who are worth their weight in gold, children who are truly my greatest gift from God, family members who are inspirational, and many opportunities available to me. In the eyes of others I am wealthy, and I thank my Chinese guests for helping me to more fully recognize that I have been blessed with many riches.

Explaining Rude American Behavior to Foreign Visitors

This morning the dog and I walked two visiting Chinese professors to the Metro. As it was their first day commuting to Georgetown University from my home in the Virginia suburbs of Washington, DC, I wanted to make sure that they felt secure enough to make the pleasant walk on their own this evening.

As we approached the paved pedestrian/bike path, I warned them to stay to the right of the yellow line and that sometimes you do not hear bicycles approaching, often going very fast. One professor asked simply "Do they not have chimes?" "Most do," I explained, "but many do not use them." They both appeared puzzled but asked no more questions. Unfortunately, they quickly understood my warning. A biker came up behind us at top speed, not using the warning bell on his handlebars. He passed very close to one of the women. She was startled and nearly stumbled in his path. He scowled, and sped on. It happened a second time and I once again observed an unused bell.

My experience was completely the opposite in Copenhagen, where there are many people who commute to the city by bicycle. Many times, usually when I was focused on taking a photograph or observing architecture, I walked in the path of a bicycle, even though the lanes were clearly marked. Never did I receive a scowl, or anything but a knowing smile. They were friendly, clearly used to tourists. Their pace was equally fast, but they did not seem to put themselves above others who shared the road.

I suspect the professors and I will have a chat about this at dinner this evening and I will try to explain the attitude, knowing I will not come up with an answer that makes this morning's experience any less of a bad reflection. How do you explain why someone has a chime but does not use it? Are we in too much of a hurry or is it a different attitude?