The Last Supper--- With Many Blessings

I especially enjoyed mealtimes while the Chinese women visited, because we discussed many different topics and they asked questions about life in America, what we thought about things in China and what we liked and didn't like. Discussion was lively and included such topics as: population control and their one-child rule (we found out that you can "buy" the right to have more children -rich people have multiple children); education of and treatment of women; different regions of China and the US- accents, foods, and types of spices; different religions and their practices; eating habits [I brought up the obesity problem in America]; the branches of government in the US and elections; education; air quality; travel; and living with parents and other family members. As the last dinner together approached, I looked forward to our conversation and, of course, their much-discussed Chinese home-cooked meal

The last afternoon of their visit, they burst excitedly through the front door with tales of their graduation, last minute shopping and concerns about getting packed in time to make their morning flight. Then they said they needed to consult their list and get ready to "prepare Chinese meal," the dinner that we had been so excited about.

They changed into their cooking clothes and I outfitted them with designer aprons as they began to work. They maneuvered flawlessly in my small kitchen, speaking enthusiastically in Chinese (well at least it sounded enthusiastic and their faces showed delight). Every so often one would ask me to find an ingredient in the cupboard, or name an ingredient I had never heard of. Each time I was told to "now go rest...we fix the dinner."

For two hours the smells of ginger, soy, sesame oil, tofu, chicken and garlic penetrated the house. I took photographs of them cooking. They thought that was amusing. My son came home from work and proclaimed that he was excited about tasting what smelled so good.

At last we all sat down to a beautiful spread of 7 different dishes [in case you are counting, there are only 6 in the photograph; the chicken is missing], that they said had "no name...we just know recipes." I said grace before we began, a tradition they were not accustomed to but one that we practice at every meal. As is usual, I thanked God for the meal and then recognized the cooks, asked for them to have a safe journey and finally that we would enjoy the experience of eating what they prepared. I admit that I peeked as prayed with my head bowed, curious to see their reaction to the personalized blessing. They both had their heads down, palms and fingertips together, nodding at each reference, and with wide grins when I mentioned enjoying their food.

It was fantastic. The flavors were so rich and fresh and each dish was an individual masterpiece of combination. The chicken, I learned, was more tender and flavorful because they boil it first, then saute it. That gets out the "dead chicken" flavor, they said.

We were all famished and ate quickly, finishing in about 20 minutes. Conversation was somewhat limited while we ate, except to comment on the dishes, ask about ingredients and utter positive sounds as we tasted. When we finished, I said that they must feel like I do on Thanksgiving - so many hours spent in preparation for the very short time it takes to consume. They agreed, but reminded that cooking for them was special because they have Mothers who do their cooking for them. They rarely cook at home.

We lingered at the table, talking about different American holidays and how the young people in China have adopted them - Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas to name a few. However, they have no religious significance in China. "You miss the point entirely with Christmas and Easter," I said. "But our young people do what Americans do," one replied.

I asked them if there were any things that were different here than they anticipated - either during their stay with us or the rest of the trip. They said that the thing that was so much different from what they expected was my children ("American males," they said). "We expected them to be selfish and materialistic, but they love their Mother and they help you so much. We hear teenagers in America are not that way." Now I was beaming with pride, "I am very fortunate," I said, "my 'boys' are very special." "You should have seen us when we were teenagers," the youngest [now age 22] piped in, "we weren't always this way. Teenagers are a pain."

How blessed we are to have had this time with these wonderful women. I have heard from them since their arrival in Beijing. One has sent photographs of places in China and said that they are quarantined at home for a week as a precaution against the flu.

Chinese Guests Help Define Wealth

Last night we hosted a pot luck dinner for friends and neighbors to meet our Chinese guests. Everyone brought something that was regional, from their hometowns or grown in their gardens. We had a map of the US so that friends could show our guests where they were born and even take a few minutes to talk about it. This sparked much conversation and it was a lively evening that everyone seemed to enjoy. I may have been the most blessed, however.

[We were so busy with other interesting conversation that the bicycle incident of the morning was not discussed. ]

We asked the Chinese guests many questions, from what life was like in China to inquiries about family members, work and the economy. They asked us questions about our families, where we live and our lives. A serious discussion of economics took place between one of the men and one of the Chinese women.

They wanted to know what the "middle class" was like and noted the wealth of food and "things" in my home and thought I must be "upper class". Unemployed since January and struggling to get my first consulting client for my LLC, I was aghast to think someone would consider me to be upper class. "But you have too much to be middle class," one said. This was a casual observation on her part, but for me a most interesting perspective. When I am spending too much time on the "pity pot", feeling poor, worrying about how I will make ends meet down the road if the employment situation does not improve, and not recognizing my obvious wealth in the eyes of others I will remember that and "get off the pot".

These ladies are college professors and well educated. Their textbooks, and likely the professors they learned from, taught them that middle class is simply average and clearly we live better than the average lives they know in China. But certainly I would not consider myself to be upper class. In classrooms far away, the definitions are more rigid and do not take into consideration the vast differences in regions of the US and of the world. Our standards are very high in this metropolitan area. People have a lot of money (and debt) and possessions. We seek more wealth, acquire more things, and do not appreciate that we are already wealthy in the eyes of many. In short, we do not appreciate enough what we have.

It took that simple observation from a Chinese college professor to make me think that I need to re-examine my priorities during this extended time of opportunity for reflection that I have been "gifted" via unemployment. I am in so many ways very wealthy. I have food for my table, friends who are worth their weight in gold, children who are truly my greatest gift from God, family members who are inspirational, and many opportunities available to me. In the eyes of others I am wealthy, and I thank my Chinese guests for helping me to more fully recognize that I have been blessed with many riches.