Have You Considered

Please note that the photographs have absolutely nothing to do with the wisdom herein provided - but they may help hold your attention.

Orr's Island, ME

One of my favorite sayings is "You don't have to tell ME three times."  This is because often it takes more than one hit for things to resonate -- but usually after the second blunder I figure it out.  

Burlington, VT

I have one dear friend who is gentle in how he approaches criticism but I know when he says something it's worth taking note. I recently learned a lesson in communication that didn't take hold the first time or the second,  but I get it now.

Echo Lake  - New Hampshire

His words of advice went something like this:  "Instead of presenting an idea with 'you should ___,' try saying 'have you considered  ___?'"  That made sense to me and I had never spent much time considering how my words came across to others.  Instead of my suggestion being a command, it is more likely to be adopted if it can become the other person's own.

Veggies at the organic market - Newburyport, MA

In my enthusiasm to shout out an idea, I tend to forget that, as with other situations in life, the right choice of words matters a lot.  The point is not to whom the credit goes, but that the message is delivered in such a way that action follows. 

Carousel tiger - The Shelburne Museum, VT

This week in an email to my friend,  I made a suggesting that began with "You should"  --   I blew it.  How thoughtless.  Making the mistake with the very person who tried to help me was doubly embarrassing.  

Newbury, MA

So you don't have to tell me three times, right?  Wrong.  


Later that same day, I caught myself too late and I killed an idea in a matter of seconds by telling my son he should do something.  My edict was a complete conversation-stopper.  No adult child wants to be told what to do.   Another good idea vaporized.

Marblehead, MA

 I think my blunders now number far more than three.  

Newburyport, MA

It's good to reflect and realize your mistakes and understand how easy it is to completely bungle a sales job.  I get it, really.  

Have you considered how you approach sharing your ideas with others?