Frog Learnin'

Learning opportunities never cease and nature continues to be a good teacher.  My garden pond, now with several kinds of frogs adopted from the local international supermarket's meat department, has been a very good place to observe, ponder, and meditate.  The frogs provide endless entertainment and lessons.

Things I have learned from the frogs in my pond

When danger is present, dive to the bottom of the pond; get as far away as you can.

Burying your head does not make you safe.  You could still be nabbed by "the enemy".

When danger is too close to run from, sit perfectly still and blend in.

Wait patiently for dinner to arrive.  It may land unsuspectingly right next to you.

Smile.  It puts others in good spirits and it may boost your own.

Use your back legs and kick like heck when you need to get away.

Communicate with your loved ones.

Pay attention to where you are going or you might invade some else's space.

Good friends come in many colors and sizes.

Keep your head above water. 

Sing! It's good for the soul.

When something is on your mind, get out of the pond, sit on a rock and cogitate a while.

Be patient.  Whatever you are waiting for may take some time.

Forever Changed

The other day in yoga class I looked in the mirror and instead of focusing on the bumps and curves I wish were not there, I looked myself in the eyes and realized I have changed, in ways I am just starting to realize.  That particular day I recognized how fortunate I am to be able to go to yoga at 10 am and how unlikely it is that I would have seriously tried a yoga class before this period of soul-searching.  And I liked what I saw behind my eyes.

Here are just a few of the ways I am different since I stopped working full time:

Helping Others:  Never have I felt so vulnerable, at the mercy of others and sometimes downright desperate for someone to give me a hand.  I have joined networking groups, made friends and expanded friendships with people who are also unemployed, and done my best to spend time with others who could help me in my search and lend a contact here and there.  My sympathy for the unemployed, the homeless, the downtrodden and the needy is at a higher level than it has ever been and I know that I will be a better friend and volunteer because of this experience.

Good Health Care:  My COBRA expires next month and I will lose my BlueCrossBlueShield Federal plan.  Recognizing this was happening, I have spent the first half of this year catching up on all the doctor visits and medical appointments while I still had choices.  I do not understand why legislation has not been enacted to allow employees to continue COBRA coverage beyond 18 months since the insured pays the full cost plus a premium. Starting next month I will be enrolled in an HMO that costs almost as much as my current plan but doesn't come close to its benefits; none of my current doctors are covered (many I have seen for more than 10 years). While I am glad that there is an affordable option, I am saddened that the cost is high and the benefits are inflexible and far fewer.  Health care is a privilege, not a right.  I now realize how fortunate I was to have had that great coverage.

Cost Per Hour:  I have taken on several consulting and part time hourly jobs during this period including a very short stint working for an estate sales company, a month as a Census worker, a few weeks as a special events consultant, provided administrative support for a conference, performed some brief government relations work, helped write a federal grant application, served on a review panel for federal grants, and a few other miscellaneous tasks.  Additionally, I have participated in paid surveys, clipped coupons, shopped at consignment stores, consigned some of my clothing, sold items on eBay and sold used books on Amazon.  I have also taken in boarders including international students and others assigned to the Washington, DC area temporarily.  In short, I have taken advantage of every opportunity I can think of to make a little money while waiting for full time employment.  

Getting an hourly wage makes you think differently about expenses.  3 hours of Census work would pay for the pressure cooker I recently purchased.  That is a lot of hard work for a pressure cooker.  I would have had to work for 10 hours at the Census to pay the grocery bill for last week.  Now when I shop, I look closely at every price.  I think I appreciate my purchases more, too.  I don't know if the pressure cooker was the smartest purchase I have made, but it is fun to have a new toy.  

Appreciating Living Things:  While I have always been a nature lover, this time has opened my eyes to many little things I had previously taken for granted such as spider webs with drops of morning dew, the sound of the cicadas, the fireworks of the lightening bugs, the late afternoon and early morning light in the garden, new life in the pond (the minnows had a slew of babies and the tiny black tadpoles have turned into tiny little timid frogs), the antics of my old dog, the annoying but really cute chipmunks that live in the garden, my amazing bullfrogs, and the night noises of the owls, coyotes and foxes.  When I was running around trying to multitask while working full time, I paid no attention to most of these things.

Slowing Down:  I take my time doing some things now and try to make them more enjoyable.   Ironing, cooking, washing dishes,  and even cleaning are tasks that formerly got in the way of other things, or I paid someone else to do.  As I have de-stressed, I have learned to make lemonade out of the lemony activities.   And if a project at home doesn't get finished in record time, it really doesn't matter. 

Yoga:  For years I have been told by various friends that I should take yoga.  Perhaps if someone had shouted the obvious at me, I might have done it sooner:  "You are one of the most inflexible people on earth and yoga will help you with your physical and mental flexibility problems."   After three months of yoga, I am mentally more flexible than I have ever been and physically I am getting better but that is more of a struggle.  I labor through many poses in the 90-minute hot class.  In one of the poses the teachers calls on us each to look like a "beautiful lotus blossom." I have never looked like that, nor will I.  But every day I get better.   And I will keep making time for yoga.

Volunteering:  I have done more volunteering during my extended time off than I have since I became a Mom (26 years ago).  Volunteering isn't optional for me anymore.  Hard working smart volunteers are needed by many organizations in so many capacities.   I have enjoyed doing different things with charitable groups and meeting new people.  There will always be a place for me somewhere and I plan to keep up with this new habit.

Sharing:  I just had the delightful experience of sharing my home with two teachers from Spain.  I'm not saying every day was wonderful; we all had good days and bad.  But I learned so much from them and I enjoyed sharing my home and learning more about a place I really want to visit.

Focusing on Positive things:  Yesterday I had a bad day.  But this week a number of nice things have happened to me and I am trying hard to focus on them.  Here is a sampling:

• When I was weeding the garden, a tiny baby tree frog hopped on my hand.  I like to think that it was one of those that I raised from tadpoles in the safety of a colander in the pond (to keep the fish from eating them).
• I lost a pearl earring and found it at the end of the day.
• I received two very sweet cards from friends who care about me.
• I received a gift of two female bullfrogs to put in the pond full of male frogs.  They are all quite happy and contented and there is a lot of noise out there in the evenings.
• A friend made a job connection for me today.  
• My guests from Spain took me out to dinner on Friday night and I took them to Great Falls Park, Maryland, and for a night drive through DC. 
• My serissa bonsai bloomed - tiny white flowers.  Beautiful. 

I am different now, in a more compassionate, relaxed and appreciative way.  Maybe those are the lessons I needed to learn before moving to the next job.  I'm ready.  Really ready.  But I'm cool about it and meanwhile I continue de-stressing and am open to more change experiences.

Lucky Frog Liberation

When my brother was visiting last week we took a trip to The Great Wall, an international grocery store filled with interesting food items.  They also have amazing fruits and vegetables at great prices.

At the back of the store in the meat section they have live fish, live eels, live turtles and live frogs.  It breaks my heart to go back there and usually I avoid that part of the store; although sometimes I am just curious enough to view the assorted body parts, such as chicken feet, that are sold in styrofoam packages.  On this particular day, my brother, niece and son invited me to look over the live bullfrogs and choose which two I would like to liberate - to buy by the pound and take home to my pond.

The tiny container where the enormous bullfrogs were kept did not allow space for them to move about, much less swim.  It was sad to peer in, knowing only two would be saved.  Some did not look very healthy or even alive, but the two I chose were quite awake and seemingly not damaged in any way.  My brother dealt with the butcher who put both of them into a small paper bag.

I held the bag in my hand and as my warmth began to reach the frogs, the bag began to jiggle.  By the time we got to the checkout, they were bouncing about in the bag, trying to come out of the folded-down top.  We put them on the conveyer belt and the bag moved up and down and the top started to open a bit, a frog appendage attempting to reach the open air.  The checkout clerk made a gasping noise and put her hands to her face.  She did not know what to charge us and had to find out the frog price per pound.  I tried to explain that we were not going to eat them but instead to liberate them.  She didn't care.  She wanted those frogs off of her space, all two pounds of them - BIG FROGS!

Because frogs are wet and they pee everywhere, we decided to put the paper bag inside of a plastic one. It still gyrated as it sat on my brother's lap on the way home.   Soon they would be free, ready to face the wilds of the backyard and the challenges of life in the pond.

My eldest wisely was concerned about possible contamination of the existing pond inhabitants and we decided to put them in a large aquarium, filled with about 8" of water, a log and a couple of floating plants.  They had room to swim about or climb out to dry on the log.  Most importantly, we put an antibacterial solution in the water so that they would be disinfected by the time we released them into the pond.

It was very cold for the next three days of their quarantine period.  Once I went out out to check on them and they did not move.  I poked them and they did not respond and I though they had died.  Sadly, I turned one over and it flipped its leg and tried to right itself.  I was so relieved.  They were simply in hibernation mode, unprepared as they were for the change in temperature from the meat department.

Finally the day came to turn them loose.  My son picked the first one up and put him on a rock that jutted out into the pond.  He just sat there.  We tried to coax him into jumping; poking him did not help.  My son gave him a shove and into the water he went, probably swimming multiple strokes for the first time since he was a very tiny frog back at the frog farm.  It must have been exhilarating for him.  We noticed the second one had a damaged eye, probably poked during his time in the meat department.  We went through the same routine with him, ending by pushing him into the pond.

Since then we have never seen one-eye again.  He was the one who rarely surfaced during the isolation period so maybe he stays below the surface of the pond all of the time.  Or maybe a predator came at him on his bad side and took advantage of him.  But Lucky, the first to jump, is just about the happiest frog I have ever seen.  He has enough fear that he won't let you get close to him, but he has the guts to surface and float happily among the plants, head above the water, front feet resting on a plant or floating.  When startled he darts below the surface and swims quickly to the opposite side, making it there in only a couple of strokes.

It must have all been so overwhelming for him at first, having never been outdoors and free to do what he wanted.  His legs seemed stiff and difficult to move, probably due to lack of use.  He seems to have regained his olympic swimming strength now.  He is a looker.  We think he is an American Bullfrog.   I hate to say it but as much as I think he is special, the pictures in the frog book look an awful lot alike.  But one thing is for sure, this is one lucky frog.  I just hope that he has sense enough to stay away from the hawks and owls and enjoys lots of mosquitoes and water bugs this summer.  It is a good life and I feel fantastic knowing that I was part of a successful liberation, for only $3.99 a pound!